Argylle (2024)

Woof. I think they were going for fun quirky spy thriller, but it's just bad. And not bad in a way that is entertaining. All the characters and all the premises are just so stupid, and it looks so bad it's distracting, and it's boring on top of it all.

Cringe worthy nonsense, loaded down with puerile premise after puerile premise, predictable, done to death action and irritating characterisations. I managed about half of this before walking away. The US entertainment industry really is a bit of a bad joke these days.

What a disappointment. It tried to be a little Long Kiss Goodnight, Bullet Train, Bugs Bunny and James Bond. The CGI is horribly bad. Love Dallas in most things but in this she was fine as the author character but so unbelievable as the action spectacular spy. Sam Rockwell was great, as usual and the rest did a serviceable job but the story was horribly executed. The colorful, smoke bomb, ballet gunfire gauntlet scene was absurd. And what's with the repetitive use of the new Beatles tune? Didn't fit and slowed the action down. And the use of Henry Cavill and John Cena was confusing, silly and not needed. Promising beginning that crashed and burned.

It’s disappointing when a film has an intriguing premise but fails to deliver the goods in the end. Such is the case with director Matthew Vaughn’s latest, an action-adventure/comedy about an author of spy novels (Bryce Dallas Howard) who stumbles into a real-life espionage scenario that matches the plot of her latest novel, embroiling her in a web of ever-shifting intrigue with various nefarious parties. The problem here is that the film never quite latches onto a dedicated focus to make the picture work. Some of the comic bits are indeed quite funny, but they frequently get bogged down by a meandering story line that’s trying to follow a more conventional, twist-laden thriller format. It leaves viewers asking, “So what’s it going to be?” There’s also more than a little derivative material thrown in, such as story threads we’ve already seen before in movies like “Romancing the Stone” (1984), “The Long Kiss Goodnight” (1996) and any number of James Bond flicks. While it’s true that this release is intended to be a spoof of these titles (especially in scenes featuring Henry Cavill as a hilariously hammy 007 knock-off), there’s a big difference between paying tribute and playing unrepentant copycat. Then there’s the picture’s excessive length, coming in at a bloated 2:19:00 runtime, far longer than it needs to be, a failing attributable to an often-needlessly complicated plot, one that begins to try audience patience at times, especially in the back half. “Argylle” also features a cute, cuddly cat, Alfie, as a central character (at least in its trailer), but, like the narrative overall, the film doesn’t quite seem to know what to do with the supposedly frisky, fickle feline, an impression far different from what’s conveyed in the picture’s video marketing. All of this is a shame, because this title has both potential and some apparent strengths going for it, such as a fine soundtrack, superbly choreographed action sequences, and an excellent ensemble cast with the likes of Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Ariana DeBose, and a seriously underused Richard E. Grant, not to mention fine turns from Howard and Cavill as alter-egos of one another. This one isn’t nearly as bad as many critics have made it out to be, but it could have been substantially better with some significant retooling and judicious editing. “Argylle” apparently has ambitions to become a new franchise, too, but we’ll have to see if that materializes based on what kind of box office draw it ultimately produces. At this point, though, I think it has its work cut out for it.

"Elly Conway" (Bryce Dallas Howard) lives in her remote lakeside home writing spy novels that are going down a storm. Her conclusion to the fifth in the series about the eponymous, "007"-style agent perplexes her mother, though. What happens next? Well wait til book six would seem to be the obvious answer, but mom (Catherine O'Hara) insists so "Elly" decides to take train to visit her parents - and that's mistake number one. Onboard she encounters a rather scruffy looking chap "Wilde" (Sam Rockwell) who is reading one of her books. She tries to hide her identity, but when he gets to the fly-leaf then her secret is out. That's soon the least of her worries as she and travelling cat "Alfie" are soon caught up in something straight out of one of her books! She can't fathom why she'd conceivably be the target for any nasty people, but her new found friend soon convinces her that there is someone she has to meet - and pretty quickly she's embroiled in an whole new world of mystery, intrigue and danger! It's a bit of a slow start this film, with a slightly annoying flicking between her real life and those of her characterisations (that's where the "Action Man" style of the sparingly used Henry Cavill appears) but once we establish who is who and what's going on, we are straight into "Man from U.N.C.L.E." territory with loads of rapid-fire escapades that though hardly original, do have some fun twists and turns as we progress to a denouement that is derivative, but still quite enjoyable to watch. The initial concept is quite original and though the execution largely an amalgam of other Matthew Vaughn features, it still works quite well even if it is far too long, with Rockwell clearly having some fun here and the cat remaining largely contained in it's capsule throughout!