Almost Live!: Episode list
On April Fools Day 1989, Seattle's local sketch comedy show "Almost Live" ran this segment as a prank.
Expresso Letter Express; Shame of Seattle; Neptune’s Moon Triton with JPL; College Tips; Needles in Seattle Parks.
Ordering Pizza at Halftime; Artsy Fartsy Commercial; Bill Nye the Science Guy; This Here Place Home Improvement.
Boeing Strike; Chainsaw C.P.A.; Centennial Celebration: Bigfoot; Mariners Locker Room; The Urban Sportsman; The Lame List.
Truant Officer; Cross-Training With Bill Nye; Office Salt Lick; Channelers Convention in Yelm; The Finger Olympics.
DJ Cop; Non-competitive Competing; Re-enactment News Network; Tips on Inexpensive Fun; Seasons In the Sun.
Best of List; High Five’N White Guys; Defeating Monsters; Chamber of Horrors; Seattle Halloween Costumes; Surprisingly Pleasant Vietnam Vet.
Speedwalker; Boeing contract negotiations; Uncle Buzz; The Lame List.
Cold open on mayor rice being elected, mind your manners, easy listening news, quick shopping and Washington celebrates 100th anniversary.
High Five’n White Guys, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Great Minds Address the Issues, Channel U, I Married a Channeler
Smoothing things out in Tacoma, minding your manners, the Speed Walker and more.
Seahawks locker room, The Men from Sprouts, Scopin Movies, and more.
Seahawks Santa cold open, Loser magazine, KJR music, holiday gift rules, This here place, Refrigerator Magnet Theater.
Your Matters, The Lame List, PNW "We Didn’t Start the Fire" and more.
Ideas for the M’s, New athletic shoes, Chewing tobacco or nose things, Bill Nye science experiment, French wine or hockey player, Really hard copy.
Superbowl pre-pre-pre-game show, Andy Kaufmann and his giant frogs and more.
Pullman cold open; DJ Priest; Activism Training 101; Retrospective of 80s music; DonnyBrook; and more.
Presidential press conference cold open, High Five’n White Guys, Atitude News, America’s Wackiest Home Videos, Refrigerator Magnet Theater
Nordstroms cold open, Stolen Nova, Ed’s Express, Zeppelin syndrome, The Answer is Ball, Almost Live kit, 90s Action series.
Mind Your Manners, Bill Nye the Science Guy, The Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-ups, and Flyin’ Low.
Movie Mates, The Flying Karamazov Brothers; Kenneth Moss; The John report; Five Clerks.
Recycled tape Earth Day cold open, DJ/MD, Project Environment, The Pump by Reebok, The John Report, and more.
Speed walker, Comic Diane Ford, Spaceman Doug, The John Report; Psycho Sushi.
High Five’N White Guys day off, The Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-ups, The John Report and more.
Meet John’s mom, trade agreement with California, The Last Northwesterner, Bill Nye, Folk songs of the M’s, The John Report, Flyin’ Low.
Kingdog cold open, Mind Your Manners, The Hunter Gather Report, This Here Place, The John Report and more.
Random Personality PSA; Money Can and Can't; Almost Live Training Film No. 32 - How Guys Barbeque; RoboSlug; The John Report; Comedian Peter Gaulke; Flyin' Low - Nothin' But Blue Sky
Get a second chance with ‘Life Rewind’; ‘The Boz: A Tribute’; Selling the station; The John Report; High-Five’N White Guys; Lynch’s Home Videos.
Short passes cold open, Mind Your Manners, The 1 Minute Relationship, Working out with the Cooking Psychologist and more.
DJ/Waiter, Jake Johannsen standup, Middle management suck-ups, The John Report.
Norm Johnson cold open, Ballard Driving Academy, Bill Nye the Science Guy and more.
Seattle’s best of cold open, speed walker, Medical Wearhouse, The John Report, Carrie Snow standup, Refrigerator magnet theater.
Election cold open, Mind Your Manners, Boyfriend Basics, Telephone Helper, The Miracle of Sluggy and more.
High-Five'n White Guys on the Waterfront, The Bill Bill, The John Report, comedian Peter Gaulke, and Jet Guy.
The Kicker and The Screamer and The Slapper, COPS on Mercer Island, The John Report, How to Ruin Your Thanksgiving and more.
What stupid thing will Ellis do next?, Urban Wildlife, Critics at Large, The John Report, Elliot Max.
Smart Card, 90s Christmas gifts, The Worst Girlfriend in the World, The John Report and more.
Measured response or overreaction, Bill Nye, A Woman’s Place, Holiday Hunk, The John Report, An OK Life.
Frenetic Pace, Jeff Said it Would Happen, It’s a Phone, Believe it, Unbelievable Places and more.
Comprehensive comedy coverage, Beaver Cleaverhands, Urban Wildlife shorts, A Day at the Office, The John Report, WSU Trivial Pursuit, AL Special Report.
Jet Guy, Pout Paddle and Swellco, Vanishing Seattle, The John Report and more.
Gulf War bold open, Speed Walker, NRN, Video Zone, The John Report.
Married with Badges, Video Valentine, Grateful Dead Travel Tours, The Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-ups and more.
Mind your Manners, Things Bigger than they need to be, Naps Inc., Cheat to Win!, The Man Behind the Desk, The John Report, Curse of the Old Girlfriends.
KING is sold, High Five N White Guys, Programming You Can’t Get on Real Television and more.
The Dysfunctionals, Urban Vultures, A. Whitney Brown joins the show, The John Report
Ross Shafer gives John a pep talk; Freeway Signs; A fired pack of TV news reporters; Monday on A Woman's Place; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The Institute of Talk Show Guests; Tuesday on A Woman's Place; Hanford Bar & Grill; The John Report; Wednesday on A Woman's Place
With the Permission of the University of Nevada Las Vegas basketball team; Ode to Renton; Seattle Times Cost Cutting; The Thoroughly Modern Jerk Goes on a Date; Oregon Department of Tourism; Bill Nye the Science Guy; The John Report
The Baby Squad; New Categories for "Best of the Eastside"; Quantum Leak; Ross Remembers 1; Family To Be Feud; Ross Remembers 2; Foreign Language for Males; The John Report; Ross Remembers 3; Hypno Fit
Almost Live vows not to insult Tacoma; Frank Shrontz's perks; Veggie Kill; Monday on A Woman's Place; Bad Dry; The Tax Weasels; Tuesday on A Woman's Place; Classic Conversations no. 26 - Stop Making Sense; The John Report; Wednesday on A Woman's Place
Pat Finley's Dance Party; Flyin' Low on Boat Safety; Why Our Traffic is Bad; The High-Five'n White Guys in a Scummy Alley/On the East Side; FM 104 The Mountain (1); Musical performance by Elliot Max; FM 104 The Mountain (2); Round Table; The John Report; FM 104 The Mountain (3)
A Mother's Day message; Bill Gates' House; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan in Wickets of Fury; Fresh-Water Fish of Famous Chef; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; Quitters of America; Trendy Ad Agency or Soul Singing Group; The Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-Ups; The John Report; Baby Talk of Food Mart; Fish of the Month Club
Brian Bosworth in Stone Cold; Jet Guy: The Invisible Ray; Urban Wildlife: Pizza Piranhas; Bill Nye plays with air pressure; Urban Wildlife: Sidewalk Sloths; Ditzy Babe; The John Report; Urban Wildlife: Office Ostrich; Teen Tips with Josh O'Brien.
Awkward White Guy Dance Party; "Don't Blow Away the Moose"; Reasons Why Seattle is Number 49; nerdysomething; Urban Wildlife - Morning Moose; Apple Keith; Wonderful Discoveries!; Urban Wildlife - Customer Service Parrot; Great Butts; The John Report; Urban Wildlife - Happy Hour Hyenas
Big Hair Patrol;City Name Changes; Almost Live Training Film No. 53 How to Watch the Big Game; How Seattle Is It? 1; Men Are Bad; How Seattle Is It? 2; The Songs That Make You Cry; The John Report; How Seattle Is It? 3
Bill Nye's World of Science; Bill Gates Husky Fund; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan Rackets of Fury; A Woman's Place Monday; Modern Love; 80's Land; A Woman's Place Tuesday; Trendsetters; The John Report; A Woman's Place Wednesday; 1-900-THE JUDGE
The Boeing Workout; Governor Booth Gardner; Halloween Treats; Anxiety Man!; Denim Alert; Bill Nye the Science Guy; Relation Translation Inc.; Crappy Old Car Show; The John Report; Blowhard Removal
The UW Locker Room; Yes on initiative 454; The missed best of Seattle; Speed Walker Lotto ticket heist; Yes on Initiative 401K; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest - Gold Digger; Yes on Initiative 217; The School of Country Music; Yes on Initiative 353; No on initiative 454; The John Report; Yes on initiative 918
Stationary Bike Workout; Sea-Tac Airport Improvements; Streetwaling Lawyers of Aurora Avenue; College Nickname or Thing in the Ocean; Boyz on the Hood; Roger Tarlington is sorry for US made cars; Rap Star or Type of Gum; Aggressive News; The John Report; Baseball Pitcher's Nickname of Comment Before Sex
Husky Beaver Highlights; New Washington State Slogans; The Male Clinic; Urban Wildlife - Streetcorner Gnats; How To be a Video Store Clerk; College Talk; Urban Wildlife - Order Desk Owl; Good Buzz Malt Liquor; The John Report; Streetcorner Wildlife - Bus Stop Porcupine; Whore
Old Yeller; High Fivin' White Guys in the Pouring Rain; What the Northwest is Thankful For; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan in Five Disks of Death; Monday on a Woman's Place; The Ineffectual Middle Managment Suck-Ups; Raising Money for Washington State; Tuesday on a Woman's Place; The John Report; Wednesday on a Woman's Place
How the Grinch Stole Chrstmas; Requested music; TV Christmas Specials; Sluggy Saves Christmas; Fairy Tail Character of American Fascist; Button Your Fly Seattle; Northwest Christmas Gifts; European Sports Team or Slang for Getting Sick; America's Most Pathetic People; The John Report; Canadian Football League Team or Type of Condom; The Lane List or What's Weak This Week
Sing Along With Nirvana; Communism going-out-of-business sale; Almost Live Community Calendar; Tobacco Cola; Who Killed J.F.K. Today?; Halftime look at Evergreen State College; The John Report; Jimmy Swaggart's School of Driving.
King of the Couch; Eastside Olympics; Faces Places and Beer; Later Tonight part 1; Lover's Li'l Lie Detector; Up With TV; Later Tonight part 2; Folk Songs of South King County; The John Report; Later Tonight part 3; Global Java French Vanilla Cafe
Tool Train; How to Make the Super Bowl More Exciting; Date of the Month Club; The State of Mercer Island Address; Seattle Pro Coaches Halfway House; The Collector; The State of Bellingham Address; The John Report; The State of Kent Address
Great Chefs of Tukwila; New U.W. Relationship Policy; Jet Guy in "The Early Years"; Karaoke at Bill Dougan's Flame Restaurant 1; Jerk-A-Derm; Suburban Rebels; Karaoke at Bill Dougan's Flame Restaurant 2; Oliver Stone's World Book Encyclopedia; The John Report; Karaoke at Bill Dougan's Flame Restaurant 3
45th Annual Kent Stacking of the Beer Cans; Musical Proposals; Seattle Summer; Monday on A Woman's Place; Reabok; Pushed to Far; Tueday on A Woman's Place; Say It With Flowers; The John Report; Wednesday on A Woman's Place
John Keister Steroid Workout; Governor Locke's New Policies; Searching to signing a new band; Urban Wildlife - Supermarket Snail; Trendsetters; Studs From Microsoft; Urban Wildlife - Lunch Buzzards; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The John Report;
The Tiny Show That Moves Around; 1962 World's Fair Predictions; Guy & Gizmo; Almost Live! Community Calendar (1); Super Hero Answer Bureau; Almost Live! Community Calendar (2); Fallen Stars of the '80s; The John Report; Almost Live! Community Calendar (3)
Stocks & Bondage; Jay Leno monologue; During their lifetime...; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan Hoops of Fury; Subtitle Theater (1); Val Rippington's Used Men Lot; Uniquely Northwest products; Subtitle Theater (2); Super Aerobic Exerciser Baton; The John Report; The Lame List or What's Weak This Week
The Golden Girl's Really Final Episode; Diamond Claw Amphitheater Acts; The High-Fiv'n White Guys in Canada; Musical Term of Obscure African Country; Deadhead Home Remedies; What the Hell Have I Done Wrong Now?; Romantic Poet or Cracker; The Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-Ups; The John Report; Techno-Dance Band or Problem with your Body; The Tom Foley Workout
Bellevue Vice; Regional Anthems; COPS in Ballard; Washington In-State Higher Education Council - Bellingham Community College; Bill Bye the Science Guy; Washington In-State Higher Education Counci - Medina C.C & Tennis Academy; Bill Gates' Computer Cuts; The John Report; Washington In-State Higher Education Counci - Tri-Cities Community College
The High Pitched Girls; Other Buy-Backs; The Cool Dying Olympics; Monday on A Woman's Place; Book Beat; Tuesday on A Woman's Place; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The John Report; Wednesday on A Woman's Place; The Lame List or What's Weak This Week
The Crappiest Gardner in the World; Bellevue Historic Sites; Frenetic Pace; Urban Wildlife - Stairway Gazelle; Up With Human Beings; Urban Wildlife - Parking Pig; Folk Songs of the Slightly Inebriated; The John Report; Urban Wildlife - Copy Machine Crab; Trivial Pursuit Radical Feminist Edition
Helium Week In Review; Why Seattle is No. 1 For Business; Trendsetters; TV Listings (1); The Speaking Dynamics Institute; Me!; TV Listings (2); Dysfunctional Family Shopping Network; The John Report; TV Listings (3)
Really Bad Gymnastics; Telling political candidates apart from Halloween costumes; The High-Fiv'n White Guys Downtown Adventure; Subtitle Theater (1); The Red Meat Council; Subtitle Theater (2); A Paid Political Commercial; The John Report; Almost Live Training Film Presents Going to Lunch at the Office;
Aerobic Preacher; Looking at people's cars to get to know them; Mind your Manners with Billy Quan in Library of Death; Monday on A Woman's Place; Today Tonight; Tuesday on A Woman's Place; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The John Report; Wednesday on A Woman's Place; Assurance on thoughts an opinions
The Painful Gourmet; Other Tacoma Improvements; Lynnwood Beauty Academy; Almost Live! Community Calendar (1); 1950's Dad; Almost Live! Community Calendar (2); The Worst Girlfriend in the World - The Worst Girlfriend joins the band; The John Report; Almost Live! Community Calendar (3)
Grateful Dead Party Machine; Disneyworld Northwest Themes; Frenetic Pace; Subtitle Theatre Presents The Lunch Part 1; The Hero Who Kinda Wished He'd Let 'Em All Die; Betty and Veronica Forum; Subtitle Theatre Presents The Lunch Part 2; The John Report; Subtitle Theatre Presents The Lunch Part 3; Enumclaw Cinema
America's Greatest Air Guitar Solos; Edmonds H.S. Band Fundraisers; Danger Office; Inauguration Day Events (1); Distract a Japanese Kid; Inauguration Day Events (2); COPS in Redmond; The John Report; Inauguration Day Events (3); The Lame List or What's Weak this Week
Alive! The Story of the Mercer Island Survivors; Clinton's Administrative Changes; Party Stoppers; Subtitle Theatre (1); Swearing in the President; The Survivalist; Elderly Shopping Network; The John Report; Subtitle Theatre (2)
The Problem With Michelle Pfeiffer; Other Celebrity Side Deals; Super Bowl Simulator; Preppy Character in Literature or San Francisco 49ers Lineman; Hate Me Perfume; Frat Chat; Australian Tennis Player or Type of Spice; Breakfast with Buggy; The John Report; Eastern Oregon Town of Way to Prevent Disease; Condom City
The Buffalo Bills' Welcome Home Party; KIRO News Changes; The Incredible, Really, Really, Long Journey of Sluggy; Risk Takers! (1); Psychologist Richard Snandle; Risk Takers! (2); Whiny Assed Kid World Book Encyclopedia; The John Report; Risk Takers! (3)
Guess What I Stuffed Down My Pants; Ways to Balance the Budget; The Making of Studs of South King County Calendar; A Woman's Place (1); Beat The Biological Clock; A Woman's Place (2); Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The John Report; A Woman's Place (3); The Lame Lsit of What's Weak this Week
Northern Exposure; Bill Gates' Wedding Plans; Bag Over Your Head; People of Mercer Island talk about 'The Crying Game'; Amazingly Wonderful Products; People of Lynwood talk about 'The Crying Game'; Folk Songs of the Supermodels; The John Report; People of Monroe talk about 'The Crying Game'; The Lame List or What's Weak this Week.
Rescue 911 Foul-Up Bleeps & Blunders; Summit Highlights; Falling Down in Seattle; Almost Live's Little Instruction Book 1; KCTS PBS pledge drive; Almost Live's Little Instruction Book 2; Smile School; The John Report; Almost Live's Little Instruction Book 3
Great Artists of Fife; Little-Known Northwest Tax Tips; The Dysfunctionals; Mexican Food of Suburb of L.A..; Dish Rag; Revolutionary Leader of Type of Volkswagen; Touch tone menu; The John Report; Unit of Measure of Dracula Reference
The Near Sighted Dart Tournament; Looking at John's checkbook; DJ Pilot; Totally Escort Barbi; Me!; Classic Conversations - No. 89 "Oh, My God"; The John Report; Yorky Sack
Let's Scare the Amish; Romantic Progression; Lisa Simmons Bad Date - Lisa Gets a New Job; Good Morning Madonna; STP, Better then Syrup; "Do you think she's a little too thin?" The John Report; Doubles; The Lame List or What's Weak This Week
Sleepless In Seattle; Harvey Kane Crossed Eyed Cop; What Bugs Stan - Lyrics to Bread Songs; Public Access Channel 29 - Emerald City Eligibles; Eternal Questions - Breast Size; The John Report; How Much of a Chance Do You Have of Winning the Washington Lottery?
French for Puppets; Local celebrity movie reviews; Capable Woman; Headbanger Hair; First Date Postgame Show; Chatting about boyfriends; The John Report; Stop Doing That
Mormon Mission Triathlon; Are you fed up with the way things are?; Simple costume ideas; Librarians; Today Tonight - Gilligan Therapy; Debate between Norm Rice and David Stern; The John Report; Dating in your sleep; What people are saying about Initiative 601/602
Housework Training for Men; Northwest college dorm improvements; The Capheads; NAFTA Mania; Coalition of Women for a Gentler America; "Is that your wife?"; The John Report; Modern Encounters;
VCR Summit; Roscoe's Oriental Rug Emporium; Perot-Zac; Conversations with Mom; Live from Protest Central on Capitol Hill; Tom Chase - Urine Drug Test Monitor; The John Report; The Lame List or What's Weak This Week
It's A Fife Xmas; Corporate Volunteerism; DJ/Santa; Internet Computer Systems; Almost Live Gift giving guide; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The John Report; The Lame List or What's Weak this Week
Jumping on the Sonics Bandwagon; Auburn Etiquette tips; Talk radio host getting everyone involved; A diamond is expensive...; Bill and Melinda's wedding pt. 1; The Grateful Gourmet; Bill and Melinda's wedding pt.2; Do you think she's pretty?; The John Report; Bill and Melinda's wedding pt.3
WSU/UW Apple Cup monologues; Sluggy - The Final Chapter; Don't Tell My Thighs; Seahawk Fever!; A very bad morning; The John Report; The Lame List or What's Weak This Week;
Secret Kingdome Recordings; Attack of the Junior High PE Teachers; NYPD Brew; Janet and Sue's Crazy Young World!; New marketing department hire; The John Report; Beetles questions for an expert
Expendable State Agencies; Smiley Face Insurance; The Relationship Shopping Network; Bees nest in a meeting; The John Report; Cookie Dough!
It's A Wonderful Street; Seattle Christmas Specials; Bob Nelson's Magic 8 Ball Psychic Answer Line; The P.C. Holiday Special; Elfis; The John Report; How's Santa doing?
Mike Lowry and the Whoopie Cushion; New Seahawks policies under Erickson; John Denver - Take Me Home, Or I'll Cut You; Today's Army; Walkout! With Connie Chung; Pedantic purse snatching;The John Report; The Lame List or What's Weak This Week
Non-Elistist S.A.M, ERR, Channel 9 PBS pledge drive '95, Father and son talk; The John Report; Bob, Tracy, Nancy, and Kim talk about Legends of the Fall
This is not a bulletin; Starbucks Warning; Publishers Clearing House Prize Patrol; The Survivalist; Cascade Antifreeze; The John Report; Courtney Color Lipstick
The New Gorton/Murray Friendship; Speedy Eyes; Street Vendors (1); Living Better Than You Ever Will; Street Vendors (2); Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The John Report; Street Vendors (3)
People on the street tell how Mike Lawry made them feel offended; Mr. Itch; Newscene - Valentines Day The Aftermath Day 4; Getting a number at a party; The John Report; Matching clothes
John settles a score with Cheap Trick; Pearl Jam's Philanthropic Efforts; Raging Hormones Out of Control; Seattle Mariner's press conference; Getting ready to head to a concert; The John Report; Drunken Protestant Man!
Other Ways to Get Rid of Goats; Cafe Crape; Billionaire meeting at Microsoft; Things You Can Do For Ducks; The John Report;
Bill Stainton on April Fool's Day; Washington Access Cable Awards, the "Wackies"; Focus on Youth; Joy of Painting; The John Report; AT&TGay
Mass Transit Alternatives; The Patty Dyke Show (1); "So What You're Saying Is..." with Winston Sinclair; Serious Putty; The John Report; The Lame List or What's Weak This Week; The Patty Dyke Show (2)
Unfulfilled Northwest Jobs; Bob's Babes; College Bowl; Why People Get Mad No. 137; The John Report; Don't Let Your Workers Dink Around; Bob From Marketing
Pat Cashman won't let Jay Leno leave; Ways to Kill Bad Guys in Seattle; Mind Your Manners With Billy Quan in Yard Sale of Fury;Vast Wasteland; Appointment to see Mr. James; The John Report; Famous Joe's Mediocre Pancakes and Commentary
Buddy's Homesick Cafe; Law School Changes Under James Bond;Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; 1-500-Dr-Smart; What happens when you taunting a corporate worker; The John Report; Special Report
Bill Nye Returns to KING 5; Slade's New Animal Rules; Capable Woman; Science with Bill Nye; "Staring at my wife's breasts"; The John Report; Special Report;
Boeing 777 press conference; Yellow pages ads; Jet Guy in "Meet Zeldar Seven"; Almost Live Presents How to Get a Job; Joy of Painting; The John Report; Legalize Marijuana Now Coalition